Wednesday, February 29, 2012

In Response

In response to my own question in my previous post, it's by divine appointment that I scroll down, and saw the short story I wrote for my assignment, last July.

The title is...LIFE. (click to be directed to the story =D)
My question was What is life? Why?

I don't believe in coincidence.
It's a struggle to actually take in and digest, it's so abstract.
After all, I am human.

The phrase that caught my eye was TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH, ... ...
It was the nearly exact thing I posted on my tumblr today, for this day of a leap year.
I searched the tags, and reblogged a picture post.
My captions were "Leap! Needa take a leap!of Faith"

in this story, I discussed the very things I still ponder upon this day.
What is life? What is that so much more than these?

It's a "short story" about two friends who recounts their life on earth. Their opinions and heart cry of life and their search of identity.

It's a little too much like a sermon. I couldn't think of any other short story to write. When I hand it in, it was said that the short story was too detailed and sermon-like.
It's like I'm a hypocrite. I've forgotten what I've written.

p.s. you know what, firefox is still the BEST browser when it comes to blogger.
I have to publish this before 29th of February. It's less than 10 minutes away here till it's March.

How time flies. How unprepared I am.

Till then.

29th February 2012

it's 29th February 2012!
it's also my first post of this year.
I just had to write something on this day.
This date happens only once in four years.
And I'm not sure whether I'll live pass the next one.

The reason for my absence is that I'm trying to live more.
Writing/blogging consumes a lot of time.
I journal little nowadays.
My priorities have changed. But someday, I'll come back.
Perhaps when I return home.
Everything is so trivial now.
What is of eternal value?

What is life? Why?
But...I promised to "(I'll) stop searching for the answers, I'll stop praying for an escape. And trust You God with where I am, and believe You will have Your way."

"Give me faith, to trust what You said. That You're good, and Your love is great. I'm broken inside, I give You my life. I may be weak, but Your spirit's strong in me. My flesh may fail, but my God You never will..."

Today was a memorable day. 4 years ago I was 4 years younger. How my thoughts, my circumstances, my life, my story, have developed. I won't say it's a change, because in stories, the characters are developed.

*urgh, now I'm used to double click space for a full stop punctuation.

How will we be in 4 years time? What changes would have occurred on earth? What land, which country will be buried in the sea? What would the Cyber World be like? What new technology implemented? Gadgets invented?

Where will I be? I mustn't think too much about it that I neglect the present. I have to live a day at a time.

4 tests. Popiah. A ride. the curb. pasar malam- night market. more Popiah. Root beer. Time spent with my precious friend of 8 years.

p.s. ill-founded fears of failing the driving test.

Till I decide to blog again.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Hi. It's been more than 3 months since I blogged in blogger. I don't know what to say now...I wrote them all out on my mind already, so much so that it's blank now. It's alright if you didn't get what I just said.

Anyhow, I'm back from NS for good. I'm tumblring my experience here. It'll be a (more than) half a year project. It's just absurd to cramp more than 84 days of journaling into 84 days of tumblring with so much going on.

I feel like officially stop blogging here, till I read blog posts of ppl I follow. I think i'll still stick with stop blogging here. I won't even tumblr much. I have to study. I have 2 or 3 tumblrs to manage. You know why I said I don't wanna blog, and it's evident to me that I like tumblr more than blogspot? because nobody reads 'em, okay, nobody "likes" my posts. That just sounded really pathetic. Well, of course, I blog for myself, to express myself. But some encouragement doesn't hurt. I don't want people to know what's going on in my life(because that's what I usually blog about) because I don't know what's going on in their lives.

In Tumblr, at least I know who likes my post or reblogged. Knowing that I've encouraged someone, because I get encouraged by reading other people's post or looking at pictures which inspires me.

Promoting Tumblr on blogger is just bad. Blogger had been my companion. It was only for a certain season of my life. At least 5 years. I am grateful. I blogged most in 2009, and the least this year, including this post, it's only 20. More than 9 times lesser.

I shall write what I planned to write, now. Thinking...
1. 2011
2. 2012

2011 have been the most eventful year. Being 18 is so not cool as I thought it was. Okay, it's quite cool actually. Driving is not. I'm not looking forward to it. Traffic scares me. I might change my mind about this. I just wrote a confusing paragraph. That just showed the state of my mind, how fickle it is.

I shall make it clearer
Why is being 18 cool:

Why is being 18 not cool:

no, this is not working. 18 is the age where I don't need my parents permission to go to a camp, officially.

College or Uni? NO WAY. It's another world. I'll never fit in or belong , as if you're meant to fit in or feel belong. You are called to be set apart. Even now, I don't belong. Though I'm told I'm accepted, I don't feel that way, even if you tell me over and over again. Because we'll never be accepted by everyone, except for God. I know why, they are just mere words. No action, no sincerity, nothing. Perhaps most everybody goes through this. Searching. Search of Identity.

Speaking of Identity. I wonder when will I ever have those being-oneself-talking-so-much-and-so-annoyingly moments. I got to experience that again only for a couple of Wednesdays and Thursdays. Which reminded me so much of the old school days. Move on.

I miss X. But what else would I talk to X about? Chatting in school and over the internet is so differently. X has a special someone. When you have a special someone, that who you'll be thinking about and talking to most of the time. I don't wanna annoy X. Perhaps X is thinking that same way. No one made a effort. I don't wanna talk about studies. So boring and so fake.

I miss Y. It's good to talk to Y because Y listens, unlike all others. But Y couldn't be bothered.

Z is being too nice.

That moment of heart beats fast. Full stop. Only for a while. Thank God.

2011, I've moved on. I don't want a 21st post so I'm crammin' everything up here.
Managed to move on from crush on a stranger after so many years.

I sent so many unspoken messages to my girlfriends. If I'm in their shoes, I'll be confused. Which is good. It wasn't intentional.

Wanted to be like everyone else, unknowingly. We're all fighting this battle and I nearly died.

Mom kept tell how sick and ugly I look. My hair. Occasionally she'll tell me I have nice features. I'm lazy. Lazy and forgetful to put sun-screen or face powder on my face when I go out. Freckles. Lose weight. I'm happy the way I am, for now. Who knows the layers of FAT might keep me warm in hard days to come. WWIII rumors. Which is why I collect junk and don't give away my clothes now. I want to give it personally. I handled the clothes to be given away before and I didn't like it. My trash now might be my gold later. You might tell me my mentality is wrong. That's how I think now. There's no right or wrong in these, especially when there's a because, especially in things that may seem stupid to you only. Learnt that from the Confidence Series, the speakers were really transparent. Yes! You can see through them, you sarcastic one. It's okay if you didn't get it.

My hair. My inherent short neck (paternal grandfather). Double chin. Big headed. You think I want it? I think they're symptoms of neurofibramatosis. My head was humongous when I was born. Like ET. So my mother told me.

I want 2012 to be a year of giving to the needy.
2011 was adventurous. It was a year I was away from home most. Away from homeland as well. The most eventful year. Starting off with Korea, advancement camp, Sabah, National Service, and youth Camp. That's nice about 18. You get to go away alone with others.

I think I'm meant to be a lone ranger. Perhaps it's just MY OWN only child mentality. The problem is me. No no no. I don't agree with "There's nothing wrong with you!" talk when it comes to this matter. Hear me out. "There's nothing wrong with you." Is a lie to some extend. I didn't say it's a lie because it's not. It's only a lie to some extend. But, oh! WAIT! A lie is still a lie. White lies, black lies, lies are still lies. Okay, I conclude that a lot things have a BUT. There's no one way solution, with SALVATION as the exception. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, no one goes to the Father except through Him.

I don't know how to talk. Not speak. I'm not mute. A lot of times I don't know what to say next. It's a challenge to be myself when it comes to not knowing what to say. I've observe how people with many friends and well-liked talk. I'm not trying to be like them, I guess, just learning the good stuffs. In the meantime, I have to rmb to be myself. I tend to confuse ppl at times. We are constant. We can't stay the same. Change the bad stuffs.

And they(people) say I'm good at talking. I think not. Only when I know what to say. I'm bad at conversations. Ah, the problem is me. Mother says I should change the way I talk, to her and other people, or I'll suffer when I'm working and all that. You might be giving an applause to her right now.

so I won't say it, sing it, or play it. If I listen to a song, google the lyrics, and didn't like it and it's something I don't believe in. I won't sing it, I won't play it, I will refrain from listening to it. All the Cs, Contemporary, Christian, Christmas Carols, and an O-Oldies.

It's just my principle of life. Don't have, don't find a problem with it because it's not your principle. If you wanna apply it, be my guest. If you have been practicing this, then, Hi 5! We're not alone.

If you made it here, not skipping, Congratulations for reading. I've just expressed, revealed, exposed myself. I hope I won't have nightmares tonight. Vulnerable.

It's true. Girls will believe a lie more than the truth.

2012. Nerding. Giving. Living.
Gaddafi is dead. the North Korean president is dead too. A lot of people didn't make it through Christmas 2011. A lot of people didn't and won't make it to 2012. Be grateful that you're still alive and can read this. This "not making into 2011 or 2012" thought came from Pastor Henry. I'm anticipating 01 Jan 2012 to listen to what God has to say some more about 2012. It's less than a year till the notorious 21 12 12 end of the world.

My cousin told me, "We won't be here already. We'll be *points up*." When I told him he can go overseas (other places) next year, next next year. Children knows. He's 10 next year. He packed his luggage that day.

"At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said,“I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

22 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”
Luke 10:21-22

How will next year's political climate be with 2 dictators down and protests by the youths? Would it be better or worst? I am sure the natural climate will be worst. All in all, God is in control and is sovereign. I disagree with the my class teacher in NS. He said something along the lines about Allah is not concerned, does not care about politics. Now I know why there's none Allah-fearing men in politics.

I need to live more. Not type more. Maybe not.

I read two books today. One about a boy, how a boy, Tony, thinks. It's by Judy Blume. I like the way he thinks. So straightforward. I admire his principles, but not his habit. Then I read a 13 page e-book, the Velveteen Rabbit. I watched half a movie inspired by the book a couple of days ago on nt7 and I teared. Because it's touching. I teared when I saw a Youtube video on the scene in Tangled when she is united with her parents. And also this girl wanting her father home for Christmas. The best gift ever. The message is clear and same as the Velveteen Rabbit's.

Don't rush. Or you'll miss the essence in the lessons. I won't and I don't. That's why I am where I am right now. Another principle, SLOW & STEADY. QUALITY over quantity. I went slow and steady in NS. Those hiking journeys. One of the Staff and a couple of Cikgus. "Even if it means you're the last one?" "Yes, even if it means I'm the last one." Unlike my friends who walks fast, because it's tiring- wanna reach early. So, I was the last one. With no regrets.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


See you then.
I'll be back by December 2.

I'll update in my dairy.
Still not fully packed yet.
Not exactly ready.

Listening to
Mozart - Piano Concerto No. 23 in A major, K. 488 - I. Allegro.

I'll come back with stories! and testimonies!
It's goanna be the time of my life with God.

Exist for such a time like these....



a Short Story
[Hope you are encouraged by it. Constructive criticism is more than welcome! btw, I know there should be indentation, but the tab button just wouldn't work on blogger! =D ]

The weasels were jumping around, playing chase with the squirrels on the open field; a crystal-clear river separated the open field and a forest of majestic trees. Even from afar you could see beautifully colored fishes swimming in the river, some weasels and squirrels have made their way to the river, watching the exotic fishes intently and curiously. Suddenly, one squirrel made the decision to dive into the river and the others soon followed. They did not swim with their heads up, there was no need too. This place is different, life dominates.

Sitting on a hill, Selena gazed at the beauty the Creator had made in this eternal home. There are many more places that are greater in beauty to be explored, but for now she was where she chose to be. She then saw a man who was painting intently on a 10’x12’ canvas. The canvas stand is gold and intricately designed. He had a paintbrush between his teeth, another on his right hand. There was another man on the scene who sat down under a tree planted by the river, engrossed in a thick book; he turned the pages of the book at a speedy pace. She observed that there were a pile of books beside him. She heard him call out, “Hey Nate, are you done?”

“Almost…” his friend, Nate, replied.
“Let’s go eat!” said Jesse, the one who was reading. He put down his book, got up and walked towards his painting friend, Nate. There is no need to worry about the stack of books he left by the tree, it would still be there when he returns.

Jesse Williams has a toned body, sandy brown hair, aqua eyes and when he smiles you would not fail to notice his dimples. His friend-Nate, however, is a little shorter than he is. He is the owner of a Greek nose, a set of inquiring brown eyes and neatly trimmed brown hair.

There is one thing that you need to know about this place: there is no need for you ask for a person’s name. Somehow, you know; even if you’ve never seen or met him or her before…you just know. It’s one of the wonders of this place!

Selena started down the hill. “Hullo there, Selena!” Jesse greeted when the three of them met at the crossroad.

“What do you think of this place?” Nate inquired.
“Oh, Heaven is awesome! It’s a dream come true, I’ve waited 18 years of my earth life to be here forever!” Selena replied. “What about you guys? What do you think? What’s your story?”

“Well, join us for food at the Lavender and we’ll tell you our story” said Jesse.

Soon after they walked past a mass open field of lavender they arrived at a little English cottage. Roses clung to the walls of the cottage like clinging vines, and fragrances emitted from the roses and lavender blended sweetly. They walked to the side of the cottage that led to a garden where desserts were served; they asked for a jug of lemonade and carrot cake with lemon frosting. Then Nate and Jesse’s story began to unfold.

“Jesse and I grew up together,” Nate began. “My grandfather inherited a forest of sugar maple trees from his father and Jesse’s family owned a farm a little downhill from my gramps’ cottage. During summer and winter holidays, when my family would visit my gramps we’d spend time with the Williams as well. The children played outdoors during summer while the adults chatted amongst themselves. When winter arrived, we’d get the privilege of watching my grandfather work with the maple trees. We’d even get to taste fresh syrup!”

By now their jug of lemonade and carrot cake were served to them. The waiter placed a glass and a plate in front of them each, and poured the lemonade into the glasses half-filled with ice cubes. Then he cut the carrot cake and put a slice on their plates. They nodded at the waiter in appreciation.

“I went to live with my gramps when I was orphaned at seven.” Nate continued, “I was reserved, seven years old and oblivious about death. I thought my parents and little sister didn’t want me and abandoned me.”

Then Jesse said, “I was happy that he came, so the verynextday I went over to his gramps’ and asked him out to play. He didn’t want to. So I invited myself into his gramps’ cottage. I would read and talk to him but he would be silent the whole time. I even wondered whether he turned deaf. Three days, it took him three days to finally speak to me! Hahahah!” The trios then took a sip from their glasses.

“Because of my reserved personality, my grandparents had me take up viola lessons from the Jesse’s uncle. ‘A medium of expression’ I overheard my grandparents. Our weekends were spent mostly in the woods when we grew older. Exploring, reading, or playing duets. It is a whole new world out there in the woods, the atmosphere is different. Ah, the sweet smell of maple, wood, and fallen leaves.” Nate reminisced while putting a spoonful of carrot cake into his mouth.

“Hmm…all that music, did you guys play swordsmen or fighting?” Selena asked.
“Ohhh yess, we did, being boys.” Jesse replied with a chuckled.
“Branches, sticks, whatever we can found or our imaginative minds invented. Once, we pretended the bows of our musical instruments were swords…….that was the first and the last time we used them.” Jesse recounted.

The two guys laughed, looked at each other then said in unison: “Hey, let’s do that again sometime!”

“Hahahah…We had costumes as well, from old clothes in Jesse’s attic. Hahah…and we pretended whatever we wanted to be-knights…”

“Kings, princes,”

“The years went by quickly and soon we found ourselves going our own separate ways…education. We did not want to leave, but our elders insisted that we did for our education. ‘Make us proud’ they said, as if all those while they were not proud of us. Hahah! I entered the university and majored in architecture in a different state while Nate got a scholarship to major in Agriculture and Arts in Paris. Then somehow we lost contact.”

“So then, how did the two of you meet again?” Selena queried.
“Eight years later, when I was preparing the launch of my art book in London. An agriculture art book; watercolor paintings of flowers and trees I studied. Jesse was also in London because of a project. Here’s where it got interesting…”

Jesse leaned forward and whispered, “We met in the elevator.”
There was a burst of laughter from Nate and Jesse. Selena stared at them, “aaannnddd….what’s so funny about it?”

Finally, Nate answered, “Because of what took place,” trying to control his laughter.

“You see, I wasn’t at my best when we met in the elevator……it was the most embarrassing moment of my earth life.”

“This was what happened: We stayed in the same hotel but on different floors. When the elevator’s door opened, I saw a guy in his towel. The look on his face when he saw me was epic, but weird enough, he winked at me. On our journey down, I can’t help not to stare; I was amused. Also, he looked familiar. The guy couldn’t take it and said, “What you lookin’ at?” then I told him that he looked familiar. “No. no. no. No. I don’t know you. You don’t look familiar.” So I remained silent. Then in a split second, it dawned on me. “JESSE!”

“I did not appear wrapped in a towel on purpose. I was locked out of my hotel room when I checked who rang the doorbell.” Jesse informed, shaking his head.

" was the time of your life!"
"Indeed," Jesse grinned to himself.

"We exchanged contacts and met the next day. Here’s what happened,” said Nathan, and with a flick of his finger a screen appeared before them; Selena saw that the two guys were in a café in deep conversation…

“Okaaay, Nate. Let’s play catechism.”
Jesse ignored Nate and went on, “Do you believe in life after death? I think, I think, that the belief that people would cease to exist after death is intriguing…or reincarnation for that matter…but uh, even at the end of the reincarnation cycle…ultimately people…still…cease to be nothing.”

“Intriguing? Hmph…I think they may have misinterpreted the belief. Karma, sin. Buddha was trying to explain the seriousness of sin; that no matter how much good works we did to outweigh our own sin, there’s no use. It’s as if an angel is given the chance to sweep the dust off an enormous chunk of gold ONCE…a year. The gold signifying sin.”

“Seriously. That can’t be true. Did you learn all that from your Masters?”
“Uh-huh. Nooope, reading. Go discover it for yourself. It won’t take you long since you can speed read.”

Jesse then looked at Nate for some with eye contact, looking a little annoyed he asked, “What is life to you? What is the whole point of life?”

When Nathan said nothing, Jesse continued, “What do we work so hard for? A better standard of living? To fill our stomachs? Pleasure? There seems to be more to life than these. Have you not wondered about it? Life, for urban people, seems to be about being well educated to get a better life and job. Finding the love of your life to raise a family, and pay for their children’s education. Have grandchildren; so routinic. If life is about gaining wealth, material things, and status then life is meaningless when one dies. I’ve got a feeling we were created for something more. Ultimately, all would be summoned by death. Regardless of one’s status, wealth, and power.”

“Wow, you’ve given a lot of thought about it. You said created. We were created for something more. Then I guess we must look to our Creator for the answers. A watch would have to go to its watchmaker to seek its function.”

“Hmm…Okey. Perhaps I will seek His face tonight.” There was a sense of sarcasm in Jesse’s tone.
"Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless!’ You sounded exactly like Solomon, just that the present scenario is better than his. He was disappointed to a greater extend. Achievements, power, constructions, treasures, pleasures, and he denied nothing his heart desired. He tried everything under the sun but what did he conclude? Fear God, and keep His commandments. For it is the whole duty, of man."

“I think otherwise. I think we are no better. To know is one thing, but to understand is another thing. What did Solomon mean - fear God? The Ten-Commandments is IMPOSSIBLE! INhumane. Who could keep all of that? Who other than God himself? What more if we break just one of it, we are already considered lawbreakers. God is such a joker. What a joke man!”

“Fear of God comes by knowing who He is and His ways; knowing that we will be held accountable. It probably came as a result of His love for us. We love him because He first loved us; sending His only Son to die for the sins of mankind. We desire to obey and please him, and to keep His commandments because we love Him, just like the relationship with spouses. Concerning the Ten-Commandments; what if the Ten-Commandments was given just so that we humans would be conscious of sin? To show that we need Jesus. Where there is no law there is no transgression. But all of us have conscience; even if there is no law we still would know the basic right and wrong.”

Nathan continued, “We're justified by faith. God does not declare us righteous because we observe the law, if He does, faith has no value. Unless our righteousness surpasses that of the meticulous Pharisees and teachers of the law, we can't enter into the kingdom of heaven. But our human righteousness are like filthy rags to Him, no matter how righteous we appear or claim to be. Howeverr, if we have Jesus in our lives, we have his righteousness. It's not about us. It's all about Him. We can never enter heaven by our own righteousness. Jesus is the only way, truth and life. No one goes to the Father except through Him. He came to save the sinners, the lost, the outcast, the abandoned, and those who need the unfailing love of God. To give them hope and a future with Him. It is the sick who needs a doctor.

“He may say He is the only way to life, there should be some short cut. Well, if He created the universe, the earth, and treasure the relationship He had with us, He sure won’t let us spend eternity in Hell. He could send humans to another galaxy or somewhere in the immeasurable universe to be nothing, rather than having people spend eternity in Hell.”

"Ah hah, people always equate our God with love when it comes to this matter. They have forgotten that God is not only God of love; He is also God of war. He too, has emotions. He sent the flood to destroy mankind because they were too wicked. I can give you numerous examples, but the best way to seek answers to your questions is still in the Bible and in Him. Read about the journey of the Israelites to the promise land, read about King David and King Saul. And you'll know that God is not love and love only; weak and mushy. No."

Nathan continued, “There are many questions which we have no answer, perhaps it is not necessary for us to know the answers to them. Perhaps it won’t be beneficial. Well, because even if it were to be revealed to us the answers may be too great for our finite mind to comprehend.”

“But we should still seek for it,”
“While suspending judgments.”
“Until we find the answer…but how do we know whether it’s the answer for sure?”
“I guess, we just know, if not……”
“Take a leap of faith, trust or go back to suspending judgment.” Jesse sighed.
“Do you need to understand how does a TV, computer, or touch screen gadgets work before you use them? Rarely. So likewise.”

“Be credulous. Have faith. Like little children. Blessed is he who believes yet does not see. Ah, how I wish I was a child again. Carefree. Burden free. ”
“You can cast your cares on Jesus. He said his burden is light.”
“Oh, shut up already.”

“There will come a time when all our unanswered questions will be answered in a twinkling of an eye.”

“And when will that be…?”

This scene came to an end, another scene soon followed. This time Jesse was sitting alone on a park bench eating a sandwich, and a sudden conviction came upon him, “God, whoever you are, whatever you’re doing, thinking. I give my life to you. Be my Savior. I’m sorry for my ignorance and how I’ve lived my life. Help me know you more. Redeem me from my sins.” Jesse pondered in his mind.

When Jesse got up after finishing his sandwich, there was a loud clamor of a trumpet, and his body ascended.

“Well, this is our story.” Jesse said.
“Whoa. What a narrow escape!” Selena said.

“We were indeed created for something much greater. To reign with the Most High, to be heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ for eternity. We were put on earth to prepare for eternity. Test, trials, challenges in this life does the character molding for this age. God set eternity in the hearts of men when He created them, just that many of us don’t realize it. Our likes, interests, desires even since we came into earth are chosen, all our days are ordained by Him. We now see this more than ever before, now that we are here. All our questions and doubts answered, and if we want to know more we can get answers instantly.” Jesse concluded.

Store up treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal. Heaven’s foundation will never be shaken, because its builder is God Himself, who remains faithful even when we are unfaithful. Heaven, is the land of the living.

Nothing matters more than knowing God’s purpose for your life, and nothing can compensate for not knowing them. Without a purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial. When life has meaning, you can bear almost anything; without it, nothing is bearable. –Rick Warren

Therefore, live a purpose driven life.

Thank you, God, Aisha Tan, Jonathan Tan, Vivian Yap, Sam Chen, and etc for making this happen! Also thank you, Steve Cioccolant (From Buddha to Jesus), Rick Warren(Purpose Driven Life), Virginia Sorensen(Miracles on Maple Hill), and many other unnamed people for your written work.

Monday, August 15, 2011

16, 18, and 21


Blessed Birthday to SWT!

I don't blog often nowadays because I dislike the thought of other ppl knowing so much about me and I don't know much about them because they don't blog. Too much information. Now I Tumblr. Now I live more. Or perhaps not. I used the time I now spent on Facebook to blog, last time.


Monday, August 1, 2011

He answers

I'd like to share with you something awesome!

Two weeks ago, I decided to do a brief research/re-up on Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling because of the status updates on Facebook, some posts on Tumblr, and people were talking about it. I'm not a fan of HP, and don't intend to be one.

I wanted to find out the story line but gave up when I saw the wordiness in Wikipedia. Anyhow, I find the author's website interesting and I found out how she was inspired and HP was birthed. Ironically, it encouraged me because her scenario was similar to the one I dream myself. Volunteer. Writing.

I googled them because I wanted to find out the story behind HP. How she wanted to stop writing but evil forces did not let her. Then I read in Wikipedia that she claims to be a Christian. On what basis? Because she believes in God and attends the church of Scotland.

So....a Christian is someone who believes in God and attends church? Definitely not! There's more to it.

"So what makes one a Christian?" I asked myself.

Men believes in God. Pagan believes in God or gods. Believing in God does not make you a Christian. Attending church. uh-huh. Does going to McDonalds make you fries or a hamburger? Does going to the sea or swimming makes you a fish? Does flying make you a bird? No.

I concluded that a Christian is someone who believes and receives Jesus as the Son of God, the Savior and the Redeemer. (Which JK Rowling failed to mention.) A Christian have faith that Jesus died on the cross and paid for their sins and live a sanctified and repentant life.

All those deep, abstract stuffs.

Two days later, someone shared on the same matter. "What makes one a Christian?"
The answer was simpler and it made more sense than mine.

"A Christian is someone born again, in the water and of the Spirit."

John 3:3-5
Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.

WATER does not refer to baptism. It refers to the Word of God.

SPIRIT refers to the Holy Spirit.

One week later, I doubted Jesus' love and care for me. A silly, outrageous thing to do.

12 hours later, He reminded me of His love.

"Jesus loves me this I know, For the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me,

Yes, Jesus loves me,

Yes, Jesus loves me,

for the Bible tells me so."

I forgot that it is because of Him that God the Father cared to look at me, that the Holy Spirit would protect and care for me.

He knows it all. all along.


It is jealousy.
And I only realize it today.
I am jealous, that was why.
And it should not be, I don't wanna end up in Hell for being jealous over trivial matters.

It's still very difficult to get out of this mindset.
Dear God, help me.

Why not?
Because he liked her before.

So what? Not like you never liked anyone!
It's different. It was mutual. And so many.

Many? Like how many?
At least 2. Or 3

Isn't like the one in your case? So you're not going to just because of the many?
No. Not at all. Mine was not mutual, and it was brief.

Ultimately, why?! Are you insecure or what?
I just can't get it off my mind. Perhaps it's because of jealousy. Oh, no!

Sunday, May 22, 2011


His LOVE is real. His LOVE is contagious and I'll show you how.

- Shers-

Saturday, May 21, 2011


In my opinion, Firefox is the BEST server for blogger.

Do you think so too?


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